Paul, a fifty-something invest/ment banker (with two secretaries, a corner office and a big paycheque), got the surprise of his life when the foreign bank/financial organization eliminated his strategic business unit and he was out of a job. Paul heard a presentation I gave about how your inner voice influences your relationships, and he phoned me to begin some coaching sessions. His story is a wonderful example of how to survive, and even thrive, during hard times.
Paul is now working as an invest/ment advisor (a very competitive field), building a portfolio of clients. This is difficult work and, for some, could be demoralizing. Yet, there is no self-pity about Paul. He is an elegant and friendly person, and here are the lessons he is learning. May they inspire us all.
‘Not Knowing’ Is An Advanced Life Skill
While Paul has lots of expertise in invest/ment banking, he had some sales experience, and very little in selling his expertise directly one on one. In his new role, he set out immediately to become an instant expert on giving invest/ment advice, and buying and selling stocks and bonds, reading voraciously and attending as many product training lectures and workshops as he could find. However, he feels frustrated because he isn’t at the “expert” level yet and is aware of how much he doesn’t know.
His strategy for coping might seem full of paradox, since he is mastering the art of “not knowing” by letting go of his need to be an instant expert. This is strange territory for Paul and his learner’s mindset helps guide him in this uncharted place. Curiosity, patience, humility and a sense of adventure are the companions that steady him as he accepts his temporary non-expert status.
Find a Mentor/Coach
Paul hunted out the top salesperson in his firm to ask his advice on how to build a practice. He helped Paul see that his former connections to wealthy people wouldn’t work here. Downtown doctors, lawyers, and corporate professionals are usually over marketed and often have less to invest than assumed. He suggested that Paul look for thriving small- to medium-sized entrepreneurial businesses, and to call on them in person — not by phone, or e-mail, or by making an appointment. This approach of just showing up is completely counterintuitive to the former high-powered invest/ment banker ~ he was used to appointments, people calling on him, and not feeling like he was begging, waiting around, or wasting his time.
And it’s working. Slowly, yet steadily, business owners are inviting him in for conversations, coffee, and advice. He is building a niche of ideal clients.
As we work together, Paul is getting a clearer sense of his internal chatter and how his various “inside team members” (the many voices, both positive and negative, that form the chatter) help or hinder him in growing his business. This understanding gives him the ability to call on the helpful members of this inside team when he needs them, particularly when he is prospecting.
Listen To Your Thursday Voice
Every Thursday, one of Paul’s inside players, what he calls his “Thursday Voice,” kicks him out of the safety of his downtown office and into the independent car dealers and autobody businesses (his current target market) that line the streets in the west end. At first, he thought he’d rather die than do this, but the “Thursday Voice” was insistent.
He knows that that guys who look like him (banker types in expensive suits) are an unusual sight among the autobody shops, so he dresses very well. He is polite; he is humble; he is friendly; he has an attitude of curiosity and service.
Some Thursdays are a bust. Some Thursdays produce hilarious stories. One Thursday, a shop owner who wouldn’t see him until Paul showed up for the seventh time, ended up opening his portfolio and asking Paul his advice. Another Thursday a very well-connected owner met with him, liked him, and referred him to a few other wealthy autobody owners.
The lesson here is to listen to whatever persistent inner voice propels you to take some chances, and to be grateful that you have that voice.
Life Is Not Fair … And Fairness Is Not The Issue
When life deals you a blow, you can easily be hobbled by self-pity, convinced that you have a harder time than other people.
While this may temporarily be true, no matter what your particular circumstances, resources, and aspirations, the inexorable turning of the wheel of life means that everyone has challenges, problems, irritations and setbacks. And for everyone, life goes on. As the expression goes, “it’s always something,” and it always will be.
Paul’s clear understanding of the human condition gives him the
detachment he needs to respond with action rather than despair when he meets an unexpected challenge.
When life throws you a curve, take a minute or two to whine (might as well explore your full range of emotion), then pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and see what this latest twist has to offer in the way of adventure, grace and insight.
It is always something, and isn’t that grand?
Practice Gratitude
As a fifty-something, Paul is grateful for his hard-earned reputation as a fair and ethical businessman. This reputation got him his current job. Headhunters told him that it could take 18 – 24 months for him to find another executive level position, and he wasn’t willing to wait. He was grateful for the headhunter’s honesty.
He is grateful that people — mentors, prospects, customers — are willing to spend time with him.
He is grateful that his wife is supportive of his new venture and of his current pay cut. He is grateful that he had the discipline to save money when times were good.
He is grateful that his outlook on life is optimistic and hopeful, not bitter.
He is grateful that his accumulated wisdom and experience are valuable and can make a difference in others’ lives.
He is grateful to the independent car dealers and autobody business owners. Without them, he wouldn’t be having adventures on Thursdays.
Talk Back: I’d love to hear some of the positive practices you use during hard times.
Nicki Weiss is an internationally recognized Certified Professional Coach, Master Trainer, and workshop leader. She brings to her work 25 years of experience with corporate sa1es executives, small to medium size entrepreneurial business leaders, and sa1es teams of all shapes and sizes.
Sign up for her award winning ezine – Sa1esWise – for great tips on finding, retaining, and developing ideal clients and sales teams at saleswise.ca saleswise.ca
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